I’m a conservative Republican. I’m MAGA. I’m a Zionist. I believe the threat from Iran has been allowed to drag on for far too long, and I’m sick of watching the world play geopolitical fucking Battleship while pretending containment is a permanent solution.
I believe the rise of democratic socialism and the normalization of communist ideas in America deserve to be taken seriously instead of dismissed as something that could never happen here. It’s already here. I believe noncitizens who become radicalized and pose a genuine threat to this country should not have an automatic right to remain here, subject to the Constitution and due process. I believe the people entrusted with governing this country should have an unmistakable allegiance to it, even though I know the Constitution permits naturalized American citizens to hold most elected offices, and I’m not going to pretend the law says otherwise just because I might want the standard changed.
And yes, I want secure elections. I think requiring documentary proof of citizenship for voter registration is a legitimate policy question worth debating, including what safeguards are necessary so eligible American citizens aren’t improperly denied their vote.
I also believe we may never see another White House administration like this one in our lifetime. I believe President Trump works relentlessly.
And spare me the fake outrage over the fucking Diet Coke button.
Criticize policy but don’t go full psycho and blame me drinking Diet Coke for killing Ants. That’s how you lose an argument by inventing one that does not exist.
Seriously you now are arguing save the ants against aspartame.
The President of the United States has a button that gets him a Diet Coke. You can think it’s ridiculous. I think it’s funny. But if that is what sends you into a moral and constitutional crisis while the country is dealing with wars, national security, immigration, election integrity, debt, and political extremism, I’m going to need you to get some fucking perspective.
The same goes for Epstein. Investigate legitimate evidence. Release legitimate records. Ask legitimate questions. Nobody should be above scrutiny—not Trump, not Democrats, not Republicans, not billionaires, not royalty, not anybody else.
But an allegation is not a conviction, a name appearing in a document is not proof of a crime, and social media repeating something ten thousand times does not magically turn it into established fact. If evidence establishes wrongdoing, deal with the evidence. Until then, I’m not interested in pretending accusation itself is proof simply because somebody desperately wants it to be.
There. Now you know where I stand.
But here’s the point: if you think those positions mean you automatically know everything else I believe, you’ve just stumbled directly into the argument of this column.
Somewhere along the way, American politics became a subscription service. You check one box and suddenly twelve more come preselected for you.
Tell someone you support Trump and they think they know your position on every war, every Republican, every court decision, every conspiracy circulating on X, and probably what you had for fucking breakfast.
No.
I don’t owe anyone ideological consistency.
I owe my principles consistency.
Those are not the same fucking thing.
I can support a president without surrendering my ability to criticize him. I can be conservative without defending something merely because a Republican did it. I can be a Zionist without believing every decision made by an Israeli government is therefore correct.
And if a Democrat says something tomorrow that happens to be true, I don’t have to perform intellectual gymnastics to make it false.
That shouldn’t be controversial.
But apparently we’ve reached a point where admitting the other side got something right is treated like fucking apostasy.
I don’t need a political party handing me a starter pack of approved opinions. I don’t need an influencer telling me which outrage I’m required to participate in today. And I sure as hell don’t need strangers on the internet deciding that because they figured out one thing I believe, they’re now qualified to tell me the rest.
You can agree with me on nine things and think I’m completely full of shit on the tenth.
Good.
That isn’t disloyalty.
That’s thinking.
And we’ve become frighteningly bad at telling the difference.